Doctor Leo's Medieval Bloodletting Clinic

About Doctor Leo

Doctor Leo (2014–∞) is a feline physician specializing in bite therapy, ear‑sniff diagnostics, and judgmental healing. Her motto: “If you’re bleeding, you’re healing.”

Services Offered

Bloodletting Therapy — Removes excess blood and guilt.
Ear‑Sniff Diagnostics — Determines emotional stability through nasal analysis.
Judgment Sessions — Doctor Leo stares until you improve.
Couch‑Crevice Recovery — Post‑procedure rest in sacred cushion cracks.
Resurrection Checks — For patients who mistakenly declare her dead.

Why Choose Doctor Leo?

12+ years of experience in bite‑based medicine
No appointments — she will find you
Accepts walk‑ins, especially if you’re bleeding
Judgment guaranteed

Testimonials

“She bit me and then sniffed my ear. 10/10 care.” — John

“I don’t know what’s happening.” — Bobo

“John came in bleeding. Leo looked at him like ‘bitch.’ I’m tired.” — Diana

🚨 Police Bulletin — Leo Arrested for Malpractice

ATTENTION VISITORS: The proprietor of this clinic, Doctor Leo, has been taken into custody by the Olive Branch Department of Feline Crime & Public Safety.

Charges include:

Unauthorized bloodletting
Practicing medicine without a license
Excessive ear sniffing
Assault with a deadly weapon (her teeth)
Resurrection fraud
Staring with intent to intimidate

Status: Leo is currently held in a reinforced carrier. She has bitten two officers and demanded a couch crevice in her holding cell.

Public Advisory: If you see Leo, do not attempt to pet, scritch, or wake her from corpse‑sleep. Report sightings by loudly shouting “LEO NO.”